When I worked at Access in Colorado, a few work mates and I would get together every morning and read an inspirational thought for the day. When I left, I kept the tradition alive for a while...and still do when I see a good one every now and then. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the direction of my life and where I want it to go. Namely: WHAT DO I WANT? So, I've been reading this book called "DO IT! Let's Get Off our Buts" by Peter McWilliams. I have to tell you, it is so good. And it is helping me realize all the things I let hold me back. Also, it is chalk full of quotes. Here is one that I really liked:
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
This quote reminds me of some advice my aunt Lynn likes to give. She says: "Always do what you're scared to do; unless it is unkind, unsafe, or illegal." Good words to live by.
So, bringing me back to my original thought...what is it I want? I wish I was one of those people . You know, who it comes easy for- those people who buy houses at 20, have their own business at 25...those people who go to college right out of high school and seem to have it all figured out. I know it can't possibly be that easy. I know that every person in this world has their own problems, their own tragedy. I know that one of my biggest problems is being brave enough to go out there and DO IT! And those people - the infamous "them", they seem to have no second thoughts about getting out there. The thing is that, all of these years, I've not done anything because I've been too scared. I feel guilty when I have even the smallest successes. And I've just learned that that guilt, is one of the many things holding me back. I mean, I didn't just learn that, I've known, but not known how to stop it. Get it? Maybe not. I'm kind of rambling here. I just want to for once, not put on such a happy face here. I want to be real. I'm scared to be real. I'm scared because, oh gosh, what if you don't like it? What if I'm real and I'm not liked anymore. I know, lame. But there it is. My heart and my fears laid out before you.
What do I want? I'm going to start investigating that. I'm going to start to be brave. I feel like I've gotten small starts. Such as my involvement with the Fall Festival and the DCA. But that isn't necessarily the same as living my dreams. Feeling worthy of my dreams. So this is my new adventure. I'm in the pursuit of living my dreams. I just have to figure out what that is exactly!
Well, I can't leave here without at least putting up a picture, and saying
HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL 4th of JULY!
My weekend was FULL of STRAWBERRIES! I hand picked 24lbs of them. Yowza, that's a lot.
I brought this beauty into work with me. I was told by one of my work mates that he thought it was the best pie that he had ever tasted, and that he didn't know that pie could be so good. Aaahhh, I love making pies. :)